brynncess

well after my last post, you would think my summer is gonna be the best one yet right?!

it was going really good, hanging out with friends, enjoying the sun, swimming and hanging out with my family.

unfortunately that came to a sudden and tragic end, where now i don't know how to move on with my summer.. 

or more like the rest of my life.

three weeks ago today on june 7, 2011 we recieved the horrible news that my sister Brynn was in a bad accident. she had been riding her bike with some friends when she got struck by a car and died on impact. you can only imagine my feelings toward the cop that came to our door to tell us this news. almost punched his lights out. even more unfortunately, the person who hit her didn't stop and they are still on the loose.

these past three weeks have been very surreal. there are some things people should never have to go thru and

one of them is planning a funeral for your sister, or daughter in my parents case. that was the hardest part for me was being in a funeral home and picking out a casket for my sister. not only my sister but my best friend.

luckily, i was able to spend a lot of time with Brynn this past year. we were becoming more friends than sisters; 

she would tell me everything and i would tell her everything. we hung out with each others friends and we were 

able to go on a little road trip in march. i would hang out at her house or she would call me over to emilee's house and we would all just hang out. and our family all had the best time in hawaii in february - who would have thought it would have been our last family vacation with all of us there. 

there has been an outpouring of love and support to our whole family and i truly believe that is the reason why we are all able to wake up every morning and move on with our lives. of course there is a HUGE hole in our family that will never, ever go away. but because people are praying for us i believe my family is being carried thru this difficult time. it is amazing the positive outcome that has come from such a horrible thing. we have support from not only people we know, but from random strangers. it has been very overwhelming but so comforting to know what an impact Brynn has had on this world.

Brynn did not have a wasted life. she accomplished SO much in her short life. she graduated from nursing school, had a career but was still going to school to go even further in her life. she was very adventurous - she went skydiving and was down at zion national park a lot during the summer hiking and canyoneering. she travelled the world and did humanitarian work - Africa, Peru, Ireland, India, Bolivia, Costa Rica and more i can't think of right now. but she did all of that while still in school and was still able to pass all of her classes with really good grades. she was so smart and driven with school and life and i am very jealous of that. she always 'knew what she wanted, and was gonna get it.' which is true, but not the way that she stated it haha. and thru out all of this, i have come to see how many people she touched in her life. she had SO many friends! from work people, to high school friends and just about everyone who came into contact with her immediately loved her. she was such a fun loving person and could ALWAYS put a smile on everyones face. she was such an incredible person.

i miss brynn every single day and will for the rest of my life. i am truly sad that i won't get to see her in this life again and she will not be there for all of the major events to happen in my life. i hate the fact that she won't be an aunt to my kids and that my niece and nephews will barely remember her. i hate the thought of going on boating trips, or any family trips for that matter, and she won't be there. i hate that she will never be at another tub club again and that i can't just go hang out with her at her house. i hate that i will never be able to sing another karaoke song with her. there is a huge hole in my heart and in my family now that she is gone, but i am so grateful for the memories and all the keepsakes we have. she left us with millions of pictures and so many things to remind us of her and those will truly be treasured.

 i am so grateful that i have such a strong family and that we are so close. i don't think anyone in my family has any regrets about Brynn, in the fact that we don't wish we were closer or we talked more or said i love you more because we all love each other so much and we all know that. i am grateful for the knowledge of an afterlife and it is so comforting to know that Brynn is watching over me and will be with me all the time. i am especially grateful for the plan of salvation, even tho i don't understand why Brynn had to leave us like this with her whole life ahead of her. i do know, however, that i will see her again and will be with her for eternity. i am grateful for my parents to have raised us all in the gospel and that we have this knowledge because without it, i can't imagine how i would ever get over this.

I LOVE YOU BRYNN!! 

you are forever my Brynncess.

many pictures to come in a later post, don't have very many on this computer.