fall fever

as of late, i have become wildly obsessed with fall this year.

the colors of the leaves changing is absolutely gorgeous and i just want to be

outside every second of the day. i love that it's still sunny but the air has a crisp chill to it. i also love that i can wear my boots, scarves and fall outfits. fall is definitely my favorite season.

i have been trying to take advantage of this beautiful weather we have been getting by being outside as much as possible. i found new love for hiking and went on my first legitimate mountain bike ride up snow basin this past weekend.

went and stayed the weekend at wolf creek last weekend. fishing at pineview 

a few weekends ago we hiked up to dog lake, a lot longer hike than we anticipated but definitely worth it 

me and my aunt, aka my hiking partner

trying to look like i'm hardcore rocking climbing.. but really just a tiny rock right by donut falls

pineview

the lake was sooo pretty and glassy.

some pics from the bike ride, sooo pretty

anyways, i hope this weather never goes away! i'd be ok if this fall fever thing stayed around for a while longer.

happy

so i have many things in my life that make me really happy, so today i am going to make a happy list cuz my last posts have been very depressing!

so i have recently found a new love in my life....

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS the tv series!

it is soooo good. i am pretty much obsessed with it and have watched 45 episodes in 2 weeks so i'm really cool.

tim riggins is my true love, he is so beautiful with his long flowy hair... yummy.

if you haven't watched it yet, i highly recommend it!

mumf and sons. i can't get enough of them right now.

i think i have listened to 'the cave' about 100 times in the last 24 hours. the lyrics are amazing.

"i will hold on hope...and i'll find strength in pain, and i'll change my ways i'll know my name as its called again"

"cause i need freedom now and i need to know how to live my life as its meant to be"

also, awake my soul and little lion man are amazing too!

i have found a new appreciation for nature. i still despise bugs and bees, but being outside

and enjoying this beautiful weather has made me really happy! fall is my absolute favorite season when all the leaves are changing and the weather is still warm, but a little chilly i looove it! i went mountain biking with my dad and jeffrey and besides the fact that i am so out of shape and it kicked my butt, i really enjoyed it! im hoping to go again before it gets too cold. i also want to go hike to lake mary it looks so pretty there.

my fam always makes me happy and im really lucky and blessed to be part of such a great one.

and lastly, my backyard. weird i know but it is so nice to just go out there after work and go swimming and enjoy the sun. its been really great to me these last couple weeks.

rainbows and poems.. no homo

i love rainbows. more than ever now because of this line of 'if i die young'

"lord make me a rainbow i'll shine down on my mother,

she'll know im safe with you when she stands under my colors"

every time i see rainbows now, i feel like its brynn letting me know she is happy and safe.

this past weekend, me and some peeps went to vegas, which originally brynn and i had planned 
on doing for my 21st birthday. on our way down we saw the most gorgeous double rainbow. the first
 rainbow was so bright throughout the whole arch, i have never seen one so bright before. i wish i 
could have gotten a picture of it! i know it was brynn letting me know she was with us on our trip.

also, when reading that girls blog about her grandpa, she posted the most beautiful

poem that really hit home for me. it was exactly the words i needed to hear.

enjoy :)

To my dearest family, some things Id like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, theres no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, I welcome you.
Its good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.

I need you here so badly, you are part of my plan.
There is so much that we can do, to help our mortal man.
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and Id like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who is in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night....My day was not in vain.
And now I am contented... that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick them up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when its time for you to go...from that body to be free. 

Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.  

missing brynn

i am going to be very open in this post and express my feelings on a personal level. please don't judge me.

by far my favorite picture of brynn, still makes me laugh everytime!

i am missing brynn tonight.. well i have been missing brynn ever since the night she left us. the hole in my heart can never be filled. i don't understand why she had to leave us this way, and i don't think i ever will.

as much as i try to put on a front that i am ok, i am struggling more than ever. i feel like the more time has gone by the more it has settled in that this is reality and it truly feels impossible. impossible to imagine life without brynn, impossible to move forward and just go on with life like nothing is wrong. i hate the fact that brynn is gone, gone until its my turn to go. people say that time on this earth is so short, and i am sure it is once your gone, but for me living in this world it seems like forever until i will be reunited with my sister and best friend. 

i was reading someone's blog today and it was about them losing their grandparent. they said how they were able to say their last goodbyes and tell them how much they loved them. 

i wish so badly i could have had that with brynn. i decided to write down what i would have said to her if i knew it was going to be the last time i saw her.

SISTA! I don't think you have any idea how much i look up to you. i am so glad i grew up and knew how to not be a tattle tale so you would trust me. i am so glad i became part of the sistahood and you and i were able to grow so close this past year. i literally don't think we have been in one fight for a long time, which is incredible for us! i consider you one of my closest friends and lucky for me i get to call you my sister, i get to be stuck with you forever!

 i especially want to thank you for all the laughs, weird conversations in the hot tub, your attempted rapping, your quick witty remarks, helping me learn how to laugh at myself, being there for me when i was going thru break ups and showing me its ok to be single, lifetime/80's movie marathons, putting your butt in my face on the boat numerous times, our countless chats of getting skinny and then going out to eat right after saying we will 'start tomorrow'. getting me addicted to chips and salsa, watching kardashians and bachelor togeth and talking like the kardashians, having extremely lazy days by the pool, being my karaoke partner (you will never be replaced!) showing me that its cool to go to school and telling me i can do it, making me extremely jealous of all your trips (i can't stand the fact that we never got to do our greece trip!!!), showing me that life is meant to be lived, and teaching me to be true to myself. 

i don't think i could ever tell you enough how much i love you and thank you for everything you have taught me in your short life. i can only dream to even coming close the the woman you are and i can't wait to see you again. i love you and miss you so much brynn. please be with me all the time so i will be able to get thru this. 

i will love you forever my brynncess aka brynnasaurus aka sista aka bean aka bran aka kim

sorry for the weird pic placement i cant figure it out!

brynncess

well after my last post, you would think my summer is gonna be the best one yet right?!

it was going really good, hanging out with friends, enjoying the sun, swimming and hanging out with my family.

unfortunately that came to a sudden and tragic end, where now i don't know how to move on with my summer.. 

or more like the rest of my life.

three weeks ago today on june 7, 2011 we recieved the horrible news that my sister Brynn was in a bad accident. she had been riding her bike with some friends when she got struck by a car and died on impact. you can only imagine my feelings toward the cop that came to our door to tell us this news. almost punched his lights out. even more unfortunately, the person who hit her didn't stop and they are still on the loose.

these past three weeks have been very surreal. there are some things people should never have to go thru and

one of them is planning a funeral for your sister, or daughter in my parents case. that was the hardest part for me was being in a funeral home and picking out a casket for my sister. not only my sister but my best friend.

luckily, i was able to spend a lot of time with Brynn this past year. we were becoming more friends than sisters; 

she would tell me everything and i would tell her everything. we hung out with each others friends and we were 

able to go on a little road trip in march. i would hang out at her house or she would call me over to emilee's house and we would all just hang out. and our family all had the best time in hawaii in february - who would have thought it would have been our last family vacation with all of us there. 

there has been an outpouring of love and support to our whole family and i truly believe that is the reason why we are all able to wake up every morning and move on with our lives. of course there is a HUGE hole in our family that will never, ever go away. but because people are praying for us i believe my family is being carried thru this difficult time. it is amazing the positive outcome that has come from such a horrible thing. we have support from not only people we know, but from random strangers. it has been very overwhelming but so comforting to know what an impact Brynn has had on this world.

Brynn did not have a wasted life. she accomplished SO much in her short life. she graduated from nursing school, had a career but was still going to school to go even further in her life. she was very adventurous - she went skydiving and was down at zion national park a lot during the summer hiking and canyoneering. she travelled the world and did humanitarian work - Africa, Peru, Ireland, India, Bolivia, Costa Rica and more i can't think of right now. but she did all of that while still in school and was still able to pass all of her classes with really good grades. she was so smart and driven with school and life and i am very jealous of that. she always 'knew what she wanted, and was gonna get it.' which is true, but not the way that she stated it haha. and thru out all of this, i have come to see how many people she touched in her life. she had SO many friends! from work people, to high school friends and just about everyone who came into contact with her immediately loved her. she was such a fun loving person and could ALWAYS put a smile on everyones face. she was such an incredible person.

i miss brynn every single day and will for the rest of my life. i am truly sad that i won't get to see her in this life again and she will not be there for all of the major events to happen in my life. i hate the fact that she won't be an aunt to my kids and that my niece and nephews will barely remember her. i hate the thought of going on boating trips, or any family trips for that matter, and she won't be there. i hate that she will never be at another tub club again and that i can't just go hang out with her at her house. i hate that i will never be able to sing another karaoke song with her. there is a huge hole in my heart and in my family now that she is gone, but i am so grateful for the memories and all the keepsakes we have. she left us with millions of pictures and so many things to remind us of her and those will truly be treasured.

 i am so grateful that i have such a strong family and that we are so close. i don't think anyone in my family has any regrets about Brynn, in the fact that we don't wish we were closer or we talked more or said i love you more because we all love each other so much and we all know that. i am grateful for the knowledge of an afterlife and it is so comforting to know that Brynn is watching over me and will be with me all the time. i am especially grateful for the plan of salvation, even tho i don't understand why Brynn had to leave us like this with her whole life ahead of her. i do know, however, that i will see her again and will be with her for eternity. i am grateful for my parents to have raised us all in the gospel and that we have this knowledge because without it, i can't imagine how i would ever get over this.

I LOVE YOU BRYNN!! 

you are forever my Brynncess.

many pictures to come in a later post, don't have very many on this computer.

summer!!!

happy memorial day weekend ya'll!

i have had a great weekend so far, despite the annoying weather. i am so sick of this stupid rain. however, last night i got my white trash on at the Dierks Bentley concert and let me just tell you it was so good, but didn't stop raining the entire concert! my hands were so pruny and my clothes were soaked but i think it made the concert even more fun :)

bad quality pic but i wish you could have seen the rain, it was insane!

this concert made me super excited for the summer tho. country concerts are the best in the summer!

this year tim mcgraw is coming with the band perry on aug 6th and then sugarland is coming on my birthday!

they are at usana amphitheater too which are the funnest. i can't wait!

there is soo much to look forward to this summer, i am so excited!

this summer is gonna consist of:

raging waters

lazy days at the pool

camping

the raft for the cure

country music

twilight concert series

LAGOON! - going friday and i cannnt wait. its been wayy to long!

boating

5k's

golfing

hopefully lake powell!

bear lake

country concerts

21st birthdayyyyy 

meeting new people

having lots of new adventures

and lots lots more i plan on making this the best summer ever!!!!

rain rain go away, let the sun come out and stay!

bring on the summer!

pics courtesy of google image and weheartit

musicccc

i just wanted to share some musical favs of mine in dis blog today.

i am currently obsessed, like freakishly obsessed, with....

BEYONCE

she is the epitome of a diva. not in like a i need to be catered to every

second of my life aka mariah carey type of diva. 

she is the perfect mix of classy, sexy, and ghetto (in a good way)

she has the best voice in the world, and the funnest songs to sing to.

my favorites are: if i were a boy, broken-hearted girl, save the hero, halo, and sweet dreams.

i want to grow my hair out as long as hers just so i can whip it like she does.

she does the craziest dances that only she can get away with.

i am OBSESSEDDDDD with her newest video - who runs the world.. 

seriously, if i could meet anyone in the world right now, it would definitely be her.

holy shiz. i want to be her. she cray cray.

next obsesh =

ADELE

ohhh how i love adele. her voice is so perfect. the lyrics to all her songs are so hot right now.

i am in love with 'rollin in the deep' and became obsessed with it when it was 

on american idol, gossip girl, AND glee. the glee version is fantastic!  

my favs from her new album are: turning tables, set fire to the rain, someone like you, and lovesong.

and last but not least, 

i have said it before and i will say it again....

LAUREN ALAINA

she is absolutely gonna win american idol. she is so adorable and seriously i would

kill to sing like she does. and her cover of if i die young had me in tears almost,

 even tho she messed up!

and outta respect for ma mayne man M-BONE - R.I.P -

i gotta give a tribute to the dougie founder. there is something about this song

that gets to me, and everytime i hear it i have to stand up and dance,

 even tho i still don't know exactly what the dougie is... 

this song will never get old.